Friday, August 29, 2014

10 Types of Italian Men

Last night I was tossing and turning in bed until around 1am. In the light of day i can't even remember what triggered it, but I started compiling a list in my head of the different types of Italian men I've had the rather dubious pleasure of meeting over the last six years. And here's the outcome.

1) Those who decide that you're not pretty and so don't deserve a second of your time. You can forget manners, these will flat-out ignore you, even if they're working behind a bar.

2) The eternal child who wants a second mother. (Simply calling them mammoni would be too easy.)

3) The serial cheaters. (And those who do nothing but boast about it. Karma will bite you on the arse one day. )

4) The middle-aged/old men who do nothing but stare. And stare. And stare. (Their tiny minds can't grasp the concept of being subtle.)

5) Those who immediately lose interest once they discover you speak Italian.

6) Those who immediately lose interest once they discover that you're not just here temporarily.

7) Those who can't see beyond your hair colour. (I recently got chased down the street by a male chugger going 'Bionda! Biondina!')

8) Those who constantly dish out compliments to anything with a pulse, even if it gets them absolutely nowhere.

9) Men old enough to be your dad who follow you down the street like a lost dog going 'Bella, bella, bella'. (It's the only word their brain has room for.)

10) The lecherous old men who have NO shame (see Berlusconi).

In short, don't trust the stereotypes that we hear abroad. Yes, maybe about 0.01% of Italian men are actually decent human beings, and I'm fortunate to know some of them. But the remaining 99.9% not so much.


Maria said...

It does sounds a lot like British men to me, LOL!

Nerys said...

I guess they're all the same the world over...

Anneka Lott said...

This made me laugh. I'm not sure which of the 10 types I would prefer!! The same world over I think but Italian men are not as good as the rest for hiding these traits!

Andy said...

Don't most Italian men fit into more than one category?

Laruchka said...

Thinking about my Italian acquaintance this list feels more than a bit harsh! That said, I have met some of these... There was one in particular at work we had to warn the new female teachers to put as much table as possible between them and him.